


There's no sunset without you

by rudesunyoung



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Drug Use, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Marijuana Use, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:06:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudesunyoung/pseuds/rudesunyoung
Summary: Just after Jennie's term ends, Lisa suggests that they head somewhere for the summer. Nothing major. Just somewhere that’s bigger than their apartment with a single bed and a nice spot to read books in the sun.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa
Comments: 47
Kudos: 194





	There's no sunset without you

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentines Day 💕

“I was thinking about something the other day…”

Jennie puts her pen down, looking up from her lecture notes spread out across her desk, to see Lisa standing in the doorway leaning against the frame.

“Hm?”

Whenever Lisa gets nervous, she does this thing with her hands. She’ll grab the hem of her shirt and wring it between her fingers or she’ll put her hands behind her back and just twiddle her thumbs. She does the first one, and it makes Jennie frown, turning fully in her chair so she can look at her girlfriend.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“No!” She says quickly. “I mean, _yeah_ , I’m fine?” She winces but it sounds like a question and that only makes Jennie even more confused. 

She tries to work out whether or not Lisa did something bad and is having trouble just coming out with it, but the only thing she’s been doing since Jennie locked herself in their room to study, was start on dinner. 

Maybe she burned the pasta...that...that wouldn’t be the first time she did that. But that would suck, Jennie had been looking forward to it after skipping lunch to head to her exam earlier today. 

Or maybe she broke something...was she playing on the Nintendo switch again? 

“I just— I just….wanted to...you know,” she mutters and her eyes nervously flicker up to Jennie’s face before turning back down to the floor. 

“You wanted to, what?” 

“I—um,” and then she sighed loudly, her shoulders slumping with the weight of her words until she stood up straight.

“I just...I wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere.”

“Right _now_?” Jennie asks, her eyes widening in surprise. 

She was sort of knee deep in reviewing her notes over Nash’s bargaining solution and its application in game theory. It was her only exam that she had left tomorrow and Lisa had known that. That’s why she had offered to cook dinner and stay out of Jennie’s way because she knew how much she needed to study. 

“Not right now!” Lisa shook her head frantically. “No! Shit!” She frowned and pushed her bangs off of her forehead before taking a deep breath. 

“No, not today...um,” she cleared her throat and stepped a little more into the room before smiling slightly. 

It was probably supposed to be comforting, but all it did was make Jennie even more nervous. 

“I mean, somewhere after your exams are over. Like if you wanted to go to like the beach and get away for a little bit?”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Like a trip?”

Lisa finally breaks into a shy smile, her nose scrunching in the way that Jennie first fell in love with nearly six years ago. 

“Yeah,” she nods. “Like, just us, of course. Maybe for like a week. Get out of the city, you know?”

Jennie can feel herself smiling before she even answers her and without even thinking, she nods her head and picks her pen back up, clicking the cap. 

“I’d like that,” she chuckles. 

“Really?” Lisa says quietly. 

In the dim lighting of the room, her features are partially shrouded, but Jennie can see the surprise in her eyes and the small uptick of her lips like she wants to break into a full-blown smile. 

Jennie nods again and it does something to the inside of her chest when Lisa walks the rest of the way over, pressing a kiss to her temple before walking out just as quietly. 

When she shuts the door behind herself, Jennie can hear her footsteps in the hallway and pans being shuffled around in the kitchen and the faint noise of the U.S. women’s soccer team playing in the background. 

That feeling doesn’t leave her chest even when she turns her notes over and gets back to studying.

* * *

The end of the spring semester comes and with it, Jennie’s last exam. 

Lisa is visiting her mom, so she’s not at the apartment by the time she comes back, but it gives her the time to pack. 

Lisa’s own things are spread out around her open suitcase, not packed away or sorted into little bags, but just _there_. Jennie kind of wants to be mad at her for it, but she’s used to it- used to doing things for Lisa that she wouldn’t feel comfortable not doing.

After she sorts through some suitable clothing, Lisa’s earlier comment telling her to _“pack light and something for the beach,”_ so she arranged the younger girls things and then packed her own duffel bag. 

It’s around three o’clock and Teen Titans are playing when Lisa finally makes it back, a bag of snacks and juice boxes in one hand, and her portable charger in the other. 

“Ready?”

After making sure they have everything and triple checking their bags, despite Lisa telling her it’s _“only four days, babe”_ , does Jennie feel comfortable with locking the door to their apartment and leaving their home. 

They take an Uber to the bus station and find their seats just as quickly. The Greyhound is hardly packed and the sun is just setting when Lisa finally settles in her own seat. 

The younger girl listens to a true crime podcast for the first thirty minutes, her hand tracing patterns on Jennie’s thigh until they decide to eat some of the snacks from the store. 

In between gummy bears and Chex-Mix, Lisa talks nonstop, telling Jennie about what her parents are up to as if Lisa’s own mother doesn’t text her. She shows her girlfriend some pictures from her Instagram and then spends nearly twenty minutes explaining an episode of The Flash to Jennie that she hadn’t even seen yet.

When they pass the sign that says Leaving New York, Lisa falls asleep with her head on her shoulder, her mouth open and her hair covering her eyes. 

Jennie stays awake, though. Has always had trouble falling asleep on her own, but it gives her time to stare out the window and watch the buildings gradually fade past her and the freeway stretch into a one long highway. 

When they arrive at the station in Boston nearly four hours later, Jennie wakes Lisa up and after whining into her shoulder and almost stumbling over her own feet, they manage to stretch their legs outside and use the bathroom before transferring to the next bus. 

Lisa fits one of her earbuds into Jennie’s ear and plays her an artist on Spotify, lacing their hands together underneath the blanket and kissing her on the edge of her mouth. 

With the sun completely set and the overhead cabin lights on them, Jennie smiles at her girlfriend and snorts when Lisa makes an ugly face at her.

“Are you okay?” She whispers when the song changes. 

The melody is different, the beat is softer and the woman’s voice is smooth, something that Jennie could see herself listening to again and again. 

“I’m perfect,” she murmurs in the dark. 

Lisa squeezes her hand and in the reflection of the window, even as cars drive by, Jennie can see the way Lisa stares at her and she can see the exact moment when Lisa catches her gaze in the glass. 

She leans across her seat and presses another kiss to her ear. 

"I love you."

* * *

Hyannis is nearly two hours from Boston, but it’s their last stop when the bus finally pulls into the station. 

It’s 9 p.m. and Lisa yawns into her fist, rolling the suitcase along the pavement as Jennie walks slowly beside her, the inside of the station is quiet and only a few other travelers are either sprawled along the benches or eating at the little cafe. 

Lisa uses the bathroom again and Jennie waits near the back, almost dozing off before the younger girl comes back and tells her to sleep. 

“I’ll wake you up when the Uber gets here,” she whispers into her hair. 

And Jennie can’t find it in herself to argue; she’s too busy listening to the soft music over the intercom and the steady beat of Lisa’s heart underneath the layer of clothing she has on. 

Lisa's thumb smooths over the inside of her wrist and through bleary eyes, Jennie finally nods off feeling Lisa’s lips against her temple again.

* * *

Lisa shakes her awake gently just as another bus leaves the station. 

“She’s here,” she smiles and helps her girlfriend up, grabbing their bags before taking her hand and walking out the sliding doors. 

Cicadas chirp in the distance and Jennie tries to make out the shape of the buses leaving the station and the people milling about in front of the station, but it’s hard without her glasses. 

After putting their bags in the trunk, Jennie slides in beside Lisa in the backseat and for the next forty minutes, listens to the radio and the quiet sound of Lisa’s voice as she talks to their driver.

As much as it weirded her out, the girl behind the wheel doesn’t seem to mind the conversation. She laughs at something Lisa says and explains the story behind the Winter Soldier bobble head stuck to the dashboard. 

Jennie thinks that she might have dozed off on Lisa's shoulder, watching the lights bleed through the windshield and the soft press of Lisa’s thumb as it rubs the skin of her hip.

She’s woken up again when the car comes to a stop at a dirt road just at the bottom of a hill. Jennie rubs her eyes, thanking their driver and helps Lisa grab their bags even though there’s only two. 

As the headlights wash over the front of the hill, Jennie sees a bit of their place, but Lisa simply tugs on her hand and smiles as she pulls her in the direction of the Airbnb. 

Gravel crunches underneath their sneakers as they walk up the path and closer they get, the more the cabin comes into view. There are soft twinkling lights along the ground leading towards the front and a windchime that tinkles gently with the breeze. 

Jennie comes to a stop just before a garden of tulips and lilies, her bag falling off her shoulder as she stares ahead. The cabin stands on the small hill, surrounded by trees, and parts of the paneling covered in ivy and moss. 

It’s an A-frame cabin with glass panels on the roof and a small balcony on the second level with two wicker chairs set in front. 

When Jennie follows Lisa ahead, she can see the log of wood on the porch, a small couch set up with white cotton pillows and two large windows on either side of the door. 

They circle the property and Jennie gasps when she sees the beach a little farther down the hill, the waves lapping softly against the sand and the smell of the saltwater drifting up the hill. There’s also a hammock set up next to a large Spruce tree and a fire pit surrounded by two wooden benches that Jennie can already picture them sitting at when the sun sets. 

“It’s beautiful,” she breathes. The air is so much different in Cape Cod than New York. 

When she looks up at the sky, she can see the twinkling of over a million stars and the soft sound of crickets and the wind chimes clicking against each other again. 

She turns to where Lisa is, staring out at the sea, her hair softly blowing behind her in the wind and when she takes a deep breath, it feels like her heart expands in her chest. 

“Lisa?”

“Hm?” She turns around, adjusting the beanie on her head and breaks into a soft smile.

“It’s beautiful,” Jennie says again, smiling back at her as Lisa beams. 

“You love it?”

Jennie nods and she can’t help but laugh when Lisa pumps her fist in the air and whoops. 

She follows the younger girl inside, setting their bags by the door and takes a deep breath when Lisa switches the lights on. 

The inside is rustic, one with an open floor plan that has a small kitchenette with brand new appliances and a cozy living room set up with Wi-Fi and TV. There’s a large bed set up next to the opposite wall and a half wall that opens to the bathroom. 

The set of stairs next to the kitchenette lead up to the second level loft where there’s a small study set up with a desk and a shelf full of books that Jennie runs her fingers over and tilts her head to read the spines. 

Jennie leans over the railing and she can see Lisa moving about in the kitchen, opening the fridge and looking inside before she slams it shut. 

She joins her downstairs and sheds her coat, pulling her sneakers off and unbuttoning her pants, Lisa doing the same. 

Her hair sticks up when she pulls her beanie off and Jennie laughs, smoothing it down as best as she can and throwing their coats over the back of the couch. 

“Are you hungry, baby?

They had McDonalds just before they left Hyannis, sharing a large fry between the both of them and eating chicken nuggets, and Jennie had laughed at Lisa when she had squirted too much ketchup out of the packet and sprayed her jacket. 

“A little,” she shrugs. “Is there anything in there?”

Jennie follows her into the kitchen, her bare feet warm against the hardwood floors as Lisa pulls the fridge door open again and bends down to look inside. 

“There’s…hot dogs in here...some eggs…” she hums. 

“I can make fried eggs and we can just slice the hot dogs up?”

“Yeah, okay. Do you want me to do it, though? I don’t care.” 

“Nah, I got it,” Lisa chuckled and pulled the food out, shuttling the door with her hip and placing it on the counter. 

“Why don’t you put a movie in? We can eat and watch something?”

Jennie frowns and part of her wants to argue that she can cook for them, but there’s another small part inside of her that doesn't feel like putting up a fight. 

Not when they’re out of the city for the first time in years. Not when Jennie finally has no deadlines hanging over her head, and definitely not when they’re in the nicest cabin that she’s ever seen and all because of Lisa. 

“Okay,” she says quietly and leans up on her toes to kiss her cheek. 

The younger girl turns her head to try to kiss her properly but Jennie turns away, laughing as she walks over to the TV and starts thumbing through the titles lined up along the bottom shelf.

Lisa is a fast cooker, has never done anything slow in her life, so when Jennie’s still sitting cross-legged on the floor with two separate DVD piles beside her, she’s not surprised when Lisa sets two steaming dishes on the small coffee table. 

“Did you find anything?”

She grabs a large water bottle and pours some in two glass cups before sitting down on the floor. 

“Inception or Knives Out?”

Lisa scoffs and she almost sounds offended by what Jennie had just asked her.

“Did you seriously just say that? Knives Out without _question_.”

Jennie laughs and puts the movie in, following the on-screen instructions before she scoots back and grabs the fork that Lisa hands her. 

“Thank you for the food.”

Lisa pinches her cheek and Jennie pretends to whine, but she’s got half a piece of egg in her mouth and the noise she makes just ends up sounding weird. 

Even though they’ve collectively seen this film about a dozen times already, Lisa makes comments as if it’s the first time she’s watched it. Jennie attempts to mirror Daniel Craig’s southern accent and Lisa laughs so hard that she chokes on a piece of hot dog, so she stops doing the impression. 

When they finish eating, they migrate to the couch and Jennie lays her head against Lisa’s shoulder, listening to her make comments about Ana de Armas that only make her laugh. 

By the end of the film, it’s nearly 2 a.m. and Jennie rubs her eyes, tilting her head back to look up at Lisa. 

“You sleepy, Li?”

Lisa shakes her head, but then yawns loudly, her jaw cracking as Jennie snorts. 

“Come on,” she says, sitting up and patting Lisa’s thigh. “Let’s take a shower and lay down.”

Lisa groans when Jennie helps her up, complaining about how comfy the couch is and why Jennie won’t leave her alone as she shuffled her towards the shower. 

Jennie pulls her clothes off first, then Lisa does her own sluggishly before the other girl is turning the water on and grabbing down the soap from the top shelf. 

“Can you wash my hair?”

Lisa makes a small noise of agreement and turns Jennie around by her shoulders, lathering her hands with shampoo and running them through Jennie’s hair, her fingers scratching her scalp. 

It feels good like this. 

Lisa hums a song underneath her breath and Jennie closes her eyes, relaxing into her touch and smiling when Lisa washes the shampoo out and switches to conditioner. 

They switch places and Lisa has to bend her legs slightly because she’s almost face-to-face with the shower head, but they make due. And when Jennie flicks some water in her eyes and Lisa corners her against the tile, mouthing at her jaw and laughing into her cheek, Jennie feels her heart expand into her chest in a way that makes it hard to breathe. 

When the water goes cold, they hop out and towel off near the bed, changing into soft clothes and Jennie forgoing pants as she slips on one of Lisa’s faded band tees. 

“Sing me a song to sleep,” Lisa whispers as she slips in beside Jennie. 

The mattress is more than big enough for the both of them to spread out on and there’s so many blankets, that Lisa pushes them off with her feet. She crowds into her space, her head coming to rest on her pillow and Jennie tugs her closer, rubbing her hand down her back. 

She can feel her breath against her face and even in Cape Cod in this enormous bed and away from their cramped New York City apartment, they don’t know how to get out of each other’s space. 

“What do you want me to sing?”

Lisa’s blinks slowly, her breath fanning across Jennie every time she exhales. She rubs their noses together and tangles their legs underneath the blanket. She probably won’t even last past the first few seconds. 

“Anything,” Lisa murmurs, brushing her lips softly across Jennie’s own, not so much as a kiss but more out of a need to feel her. 

When Jennie starts to sing softly underneath her breath, she feels Lisa slouch against her and arms go slack around her waist.

* * *

When Jennie wakes up, sunlight streams across the sheets and she reaches out with a hand, feeling the warmth of Lisa’s empty side of the bed.

She can smell eggs though, so when she opens her eyes and squints in the direction of the kitchen, she sees the other girl standing in front of the stove with her hair pulled back into a ponytail.

For awhile, all she does is watch her- watches how she slouches slightly over the pan. The way she flinches when the butter pops and how she messily cooks, dishes filling up in the sink and ingredients spread out along the counter top. 

When Jennie finally yawns out loud, breaking the silence in the cabin, Lisa looks over her shoulder and winks at her.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

“Good morning,” Jennie smiles into the sheets, but she doesn’t think Lisa hears her. 

“I’m almost done,” Lisa says, and Jennie wants to tell her that she doesn’t have to rush; that she doesn’t need to quickly whip up something because Jennie has to catch the D train or she’s gonna be late for another meeting with her advisor. 

They can take as much time as they want and that thought alone settles something warm in her bones. 

Not even when Lisa’s plating the food and pouring two steaming cups of coffee does Jennie move from the bed. She reaches over to check her phone on the nightstand, the first time she’s done so since they arrived, and rubs her eyes again when she reads the time.

“Come eat,” Lisa murmurs, poking her on the back. 

Jennie wraps the blanket around herself and slides off the bed, joining Lisa on the floor as she pushes her plate towards her.

The heat from the food wafts up her nose and she can feel her stomach grumble as she spoons some of the eggs into her mouth. 

They eat quietly, grinning at each other whenever they catch the others gaze. Lisa rips off a piece of toast and shoves it in her mouth, smiling over the rim of her cup as Jennie snorts. While Jennie’s chewing her own food, Lisa reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and presses a soft kiss to her cheek. 

“I love you,” she murmurs. 

Jennie takes a sip from her coffee and sets her cup back down, kissing the middle of Lisa’s forehead. 

“I love you too.”

When they finish eating, Jennie offers to do the dishes and Lisa follows her around the kitchen, all of her energy rushing back to her at once as she talks nonstop. It makes Jennie smile as she’s elbow deep in soapy water and scrubbing a pan. 

Lisa takes stock of the food in the fridge and then makes a list, the stuff on the paper hardly legible because of her large, sloppy handwriting.

“What’s that?” Jennie points to an item near the bottom.

Lisa tilts her head to the side, like she has to decipher her own writing too, before she smiles and clicks her tongue. 

”Mayonnaise.”

“What the fuck do you need mayonnaise for?”

“I’m gonna make rice balls...and if I find an Asian supermarket, maybe some tteokbokki?” 

Jennie stares at her as she looks over the list and then pulls her phone out to take a picture of it just in case. She has a tendency of losing things that are not attached to her. 

“I can cook, you know? You’ve already been cooking a lot.”

She rubs her knuckles underneath her eye and Lisa grabs her hand, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist right over her pulse. 

“We haven’t even been here a day, yet,” she chuckles. “ _Besides_ , you know I like to cook for the both of us.”

“I know,” Jennie rolls her eyes. 

Jennie’s an okay cook, not as good as she wants to be, but Lisa is better. She says she only learned from watching Youtube videos and practicing so much when Jennie locks herself in their bedroom to study, and that makes sense. 

If their kitchen isn’t cluttered with ingredients and dishes stacked in the sink, then Lisa would be spread out on the couch looking up new recipes or Facetiming Jennie from the supermarket to ask her what they should experiment with for dinner. 

It makes her smile that some things about Lisa are just so predictable, that even in the middle of nowhere at Cape Cod, she’ll probably have Jennie hold her iPad and tell her the instructions on the TASTY video. 

As Lisa gets dressed, Jennie goes through their bags and unpacks some of their things. She puts the clothes in the closet next to the bathroom, puts her books on the mantel next to the TV, and organizes their toiletries along the shelf inside the shower. 

“I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Mmhm.”

Jennie watches Lisa through the window as she walks down the dirt path to the car that’s already waiting at the end of the hill. When it pulls away, the tires cracking underneath the gravel, Jennie ventures upstairs with her laptop to check out the study. 

There are paintings that she didn’t notice last night propped against the wall, some abstract and others of people, the sea, and random objects like a chair and a typewriter. 

Jennie runs her hand along the wall, tracing the patterns in the wallpaper and walking over to the potted plants along the windowsill. She feels their petals and leans forward to blow her breath against the glass. When the window fogs up, she writes her name in Korean and then in English underneath it.

It’s silly because she knows that it’ll vanish in a few seconds, but it oddly makes her feel as if all of this is real, that’s she really here. 

When she sits down at the desk, Jennie touches the tiny Toy Story figurines lined up along the top shelf and then smiles at the encouraging words left behind on various colorful sticky notes. 

The first thing she does is log onto her school website, scrolling through her courses before finds her grade portal and waits for the screen to load.

Nothing. 

Her grades haven’t changed. None of her final exam marks have been posted either. Jennie doesn’t want to let this get to her because Lisa planned this trip for a reason. So that maybe she could finally get out of her head long enough to enjoy herself, but it _does_ bother her. 

It bothers her that even hours away from her university and in the middle of nowhere, shielded by the trees and looking out towards the sea, that her mind can’t get away from university. 

She rubs her temples and reloads the page just to make sure and when nothing changes, Jennie shuts her laptop close and stands up to pace back and forth.

* * *

Lisa makes it back to the cabin a little while later, her arms full of two large brown paper bags and kicking the door shut behind her. 

Jennie’s sprawled across the couch, a book open on her chest, when she looks up and laughs at her. 

“What did you buy? You know we don’t live here, right?”

Lisa sticks her tongue out at her and moves to the kitchen, setting the bags down and starting to unpack them.

“Don’t say you want snacks in the middle of the night and I don’t want to see your hands on my stuff either.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jennie laughs. She moves to help Lisa in the kitchen, both of them putting things away in the fridge and Lisa leaving out the ingredients for the rice balls. 

“So…” she says rummaging through the bag. “I couldn’t find any frozen rice cakes...but I did get one of those instant microwaveable ones,” she smiles, pulling it out to show Jennie. 

It says extra spicy across the label and Jennie takes it from her, turning it around to read the instructions on the back. 

“These might be crappy, just a heads up.”

“I’ll make it good,” Lisa rolls her eyes and before Jennie can say something back to her, Lisa plucks the bowl out of her hand and lifts her up onto the counter. 

Jennie hates when she does that: for one, it’s always when she least expects it and two, she hates how much it turns her on that Lisa can just lift her up like she weighs nothing. 

And judging from Lisa’s smug grin, she knows that Jennie’s thinking the same thing. 

“I missed you,” she says and maneuvers her way in between the older girl’s legs. 

“You weren’t even gone that long.”

Lisa pouts, her arms winding around her waist and slipping underneath the material of her shirt. 

“Tell me you missed me too.”

Jennie shakes her head and Lisa frowns even harder, pushing her face into her neck as she shrieks in laughter. 

She attempts to push her away but Lisa is all limbs and surprisingly, she knows just what to do with all of that. She ends up hugging Jennie even tighter and laughing into her shoulder when Jennie gives up. 

“Punk,” she mutters. 

Lisa rubs their cheeks together and bends her back slightly, pulling Jennie against her chest as the other girl wraps her arms around her neck. 

“Your punk,” she says softly. 

She kisses the base of her throat and works her way up, trailing pecks along the column of Jennie’s neck and squeezing her thighs as Jennie tightens her legs around her. 

“Come here,” she tilts her face up, kissing the tip of her nose. 

Lisa smiles and slips her hands underneath her shirt, feeling her skin and the goosebumps that rise along the inside of her thighs when she drags her fingers upwards.

When Jennie finally kisses her, it’s soft, almost like she wants to whisper something to her and it makes Lisa’s toes curl in her socks.

She shuffled forward, curling around the other girl and opened her mouth, sliding her tongue inside to taste their mouthwash and the smallest hint of orange juice. 

Jennie bites down on her bottom lip _hard_ , not enough to draw any blood, but it makes Lisa groan as she watches her tug on her lip and then dive back in. 

Jennie’s all teeth when she kisses and Lisa wishes that it didn’t sound so weird when she thought out loud about it, but it’s incredibly sexy. 

One of her hands slip underneath the band of her underwear and Jennie makes a pathetic sound in the back of her throat, digging her fingernails into the back of Lisa’s neck.

They kiss for a long time, long enough until Jennie has to push her away to catch her breath. Lisa doesn’t go that far, simply holding her face between her hands and pressing a kiss to her forehead. 

“I’m really glad we came here,” she breathes against her skin.

Jennie is still trying to catch her breath, but she looks up at Lisa and smiles that same gummy smile that she fell in love with she was a dumb freshman. 

“I’m glad…” she says and licks her lips. “I’m glad we came here too. That you did this for us.”

Lisa pushes her face in her shoulder and Jennie laughs, rubbing her arms until the younger girl pulls away and rubs the inside of her legs. 

“Help me?”

Lisa steps away to grab her iPad and then she hands it to her girlfriend, washing her hands and rolling up her sleeves as she starts setting the ingredients up. 

“And don’t lick the spoon and double dip like you did last time.”

Lisa snorts, popping open the can of tuna and scooping it out to put it in a smaller bowl. “You’re so weird.”

“And you’re so gross.”

“How is that gross? My tongue has been in worse places --”

“Lisa!”

* * *

After they eat lunch, Jennie finds a Dumbo Disney puzzle in one of the cabinets and moves everything off of the table to get started on it. 

Lisa is too antsy, doesn’t have the attention span to sit for hours and work on a puzzle but Jennie’s good at them. Always takes about a week or two, give or take, depending on her schedule for her to finish one. 

The first 1,000 piece puzzle she finished was one of Albert Einstein and Lisa framed it, and even hung it up in their bedroom. Jennie said it was embarrassing, but Lisa always catches her smiling at it anytime she has to go to the bathroom. 

So Lisa’s content to lay on the couch, her head propped up by her hand and watch Jennie work on it. 

When the sun is just starting to set, Jennie is part of the way finished with the bottom of the puzzle. Lisa yawns behind her and Jennie laughs, looking over her shoulder at the younger girl. 

“Sleepy?” 

“A little,” she shrugs and rubs her eye with a fist. 

Jennie surveys her work and decides that this could be enough for now. She shuffled the rest of the pieces into a pile and placed the box back on the table. 

“Let’s take a nap.”

Lisa doesn’t protest this time. She lets her girlfriend pull her up and then both of them crawl onto the mattress, Jennie wrapping herself around Lisa’s middle and the other girl, shoving her nose in her hair.

* * *

It’s three in the morning when Lisa wakes up again. Jennie’s drooling on her pillow and she snorts, reaching behind her for her phone and snapping a photo of her before she goes to the bathroom. 

At night, it’s even quieter than Lisa imagined. Back home, even at this time, Lisa could still hear the sound of traffic outside their window and their neighbors above them having parties or getting into arguments. 

But here, shrouded by the trees and next to the beach, Lisa can hear her thoughts and listen to insects outside and hear the pop of the bottle cap as she takes a beer out of the fridge. 

She slides her feet into her sandals and slips outside the back door quietly, walking down the steps and taking a seat on the wooden bench. 

She drinks slowly, savoring the taste and watching the stars in the sky. She can see the sky without her glasses and it’s so much clearer than it is in New York. The light pollution and the skyscrapers block out the view, but here you can see everything. 

Lisa doesn’t know how long she spends outside, but as her fingers start to grow cold and she takes another swig of her beer, she hears the screen door slide open. 

“Lisa?” 

Jennie’s standing just outside the door, the blanket wrapped around her shoulder and her hair a mess, like she just rolled out of bed and immediately went to look for her. 

“It’s cold out here. Come back to bed, please.”

Lisa takes another sip and then looks at the sky one more time, recognizing the Little Dipper just behind a cloud before she walks up to the cabin. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“No,” she shakes her head and tossed her beer in the trash, taking Jennie’s hand.

“Just wanted some fresh air,” she shrugs.

“You scared me,” Jennie sighs and Lisa watches her climb back onto the mattress, opening the blanket for her. 

“I didn’t see you in the bathroom and then I saw the back door open...thought something happened,” she frowned.

“Don’t worry,” Lisa smiles. “I can take any grizzly bear out here.”

“No you can’t,” Jennie frowns. “You can barely take a cockroach back home.”

“It had wings! That means it can _fly_!”

* * *

When Lisa had dropped out of university, she wanted to take up painting. She wasn’t very good at it, she admitted, but it took her mind off things and it gave her something to do with her hands. 

Sometimes she would sketch something on a sticky note and then wait until she got back home to spend hours bent over the kitchen counter painting. 

It wasn’t serious— at least, Jennie didn’t think that it was. Lisa was always dabbling in different hobbies. When she got tired of one thing, she moved on to embroidery, or she started streaming on Twitch, or she took up a pottery class. 

So Jennie’s not surprised to see her up at nearly 4 a.m., sitting on the floor next to the coffee table and bent over a small canvas. 

There’s three different bottles of paint next to her leg and when Jennie rolls over on the mattress, the sheet rustling with her weight, Lisa glances briefly over her shoulder and smiles before turning back around. 

“What is it this time?” Jennie mumbles. 

Lisa lifts a hand up to push her bangs out of her eyes and ends up smearing yellow paint over her eyebrow. 

“I think...it’s a dog...or it could be...a cat,” she said tilting her head to the side. “Depends on the way you look at it.” 

Jennie yawns into her fist, quietly watching Lisa work next to the soft glow of the lamp. Her fingers are covered in different colors and she doesn’t look up again when Jennie wraps the sheet around herself and stumbles off the mattress. 

The sheet drags along the floor and she goes to the kitchen first, grabs two water bottles out of the fridge and sits next to Lisa on the floor. 

After uncapping it, Jennie nudges Lisa’s side and waits for her to stop so she can push the water bottle towards her. 

The canvas is messy. It doesn’t really have a shape to it and no matter how many ways Jennie tilts her head, she can’t really see what Lisa is trying to make out of it. 

There’s splashes of red and yellow, the sky is painted in the color of a baby blue and Jennie has thought that she was more into abstracts, to drawing objects and that ugly plant that still sits on their windowsill. 

“It looks good, right?” Lisa grins and Jennie looks up at her face, can still see a little bit of crust on her eyelids. 

It’s not good— not to her at least, but what the fuck does she know about painting? Absolutely nothing, so she just shakes her with a smile and nods. 

“It looks more like a cat,” she says softly. 

Lisa sets her water bottle down and tilts her head into the same position as Jennie. Her tongue peeks out between her lips and she stares at the canvas for a long second. 

When she moves, it’s to grab the bottle of black paint and she squirts a little bit on her finger before making what looks like whiskers next to its nose.

 _“Now_ , it’s a cat.”

Jennie snorts and watches as the younger girl stands up, picking the canvas up to set it on the mantle next to the TV. In the dark, you really can’t make it out well, but Lisa still looks proud of it; she still stands back and smiles at her work, only muttering something low under her breath that Jennie can’t make out. 

When she goes to wash her hands, Jennie gets up and drags the sheet into the kitchen with her as she makes a bowl of popcorn. 

“Are we watching another movie?”

Lisa comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on the top of Jennie’s head. 

The sound of the microwave running fills the silence between them and Jennie nods her head, lacing their fingers together as they watch the bag of popcorn fill up.

“Since I don’t think we’ll be going to sleep anytime soon and because I’m hungry...you wanna watch The Dark Knight?”

“You brought it from home?”

“Yeah.”

The microwave beeps when it finishes and Lisa pulls away, grabbing down a plastic bowl and holding it out for Jennie to pour the popcorn into. 

They set the movie up and Lisa makes space for Jennie to crawl under her arm, throwing her leg over her hip and tucking herself underneath Lisa’s chin. 

Jennie’s so engrossed in the movie that she doesn’t really pay her girlfriend any attention as Lisa presses tiny kisses into her hairline. Lisa dunks her hand into the bowl and grabs a handful of popcorn, tipping her head back and chewing on it when Jennie slips a hand under her shirt, rubbing her palm along her stomach. 

“I love how he practically has everyone kill each other just so he could get the money.” Lisa snorts. She pushes a popcorn kernel against Jennie’s lips, waiting for the other girl to open her mouth as she does. 

“Well,” she says, chewing around the popcorn, “the Joker said that he was only supposed to kill the bus driver and he did, so…”

“At least, the manager made a good effort.”

“He should have had more ammo on hand,” Jennie snorted. 

Lisa fed her some more popcorn and then grabbed another handful out for herself. “Well, it’s not everyday that someone holds up your bank in the middle of the day.”

“Idiot,” Jennie rolled her eyes. 

Even though she talked throughout the entire movie, Lisa loved watching films with her because her commentary was always the best. No matter how many times they had watched The Dark Knight, or any movie really, Jennie always acted like it was the first time she was watching it. 

She still jumped at the same scenes; she still gasped at the same lines that she could recite from memory alone; and Jennie still explained the dialogue to Lisa, as if she hadn’t sat through this countless times before and already knew what Jennie was going to say. 

“My mouth is dry, I need water,” Lisa said, trying to nudge Jennie off of her. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” she said quickly, “you’re gonna miss it if you get up,” Jennie frowns. 

And Lisa wants to tell her to just pause the movie; she wants to tell her that she already knows what happens in this scene, but she just settles down onto the couch instead and laughs when Jennie smiles. 

Dry throat be damned.

* * *

The following day, they both venture into town for the first time. 

They eat some ice cream in a small cafe at the end of the street, Lisa takes photos at the pier, and they walk through a farmers market, sifting through the produce and trying all the free samples until Jennie has to pop open the first button on her pants.

There’s a small antique book shop tucked between two nondescript buildings, a chalkboard sign out front with the words _50% Sale Off All Penguin House Classics._

Lisa doesn’t even try to act surprised when Jennie tugs her in by the sleeve of her shirt. 

The shop is small and cramped, but it’s also homey and there’s a orange tabby cat slinking through a pile of books on the floor as they walk inside. 

An older woman looks up from where she’s reading a newspaper at the counter and unconsciously, Lisa wants to let go of Jennie’s hand, but the old woman only smiles warmly at them and goes back to reading.

It’s hard to pick out what section is which, there’s only these tiny handwritten place cards on the shelf denoting some aisles as ‘fiction,’ ‘memoir,’ or ‘historical.’ 

Every wall is covered with books and eventually, Jennie lets her go, venturing further into the back of the shop where the books become even more disorganized. 

On a small round table, there are old knick knacks tagged with prices on them. A miniature globe in the shape of Mr. Peanut, a library card enamel pin, custom made books that have sketches of the sea, and a dictionary of terms specific to Cape Cod.

As Lisa walks through the aisles, she can run her hand over some of the spines, catching dust in the process and wiping her hands off on her pants. More books are stacked on top of each other; some in piles that are labeled and others that you have to flip through to figure out what it is.

That’s where Lisa finds Jennie, curled up in an armchair, her feet tucked underneath herself as she flips through a thick paperback, her eyes squinting because she forgot her reading glasses.

She looks so calm and at peace here. In this little spot, surrounded by books and underneath the faint glow of the overhead lights. Without even thinking about it, Lisa lifts her camera up from her neck and snaps two shots. 

The tabby cat finally trails up toward the chair, cautiously moving through the legs of the small stand before hopping up on the table. 

Jennie smiles, her hand reaching out to pet the top of its head and laughing when the little thing starts purring. Lisa takes another photo and one more of the cat butting it’s head against her hand before she steps into her field of vision.

“Hey—” 

“Can we stay for a little bit longer?”

The cat steps down into her lap, it’s tail swishing against her chin as she laughs and rubs a hand down its back. When she turns the page, the cat plops down in her lap, purring underneath the hand that begins scratching behind her ears. 

Lisa takes a seat on the floor, right by her feet, as she lays her head back and takes a deep breath. 

She doesn’t want to leave either.

After eating a late dinner and playing a game of pool at the local brewery, Lisa and Jennie walk back towards the main post office where the Uber’s supposed to pick them up. 

Lisa squeezes her fingers and Jennie knocks their shoulders together, lifting up their hands to kiss the back of her knuckles.

Her lips are really soft and it makes her laugh when Jennie bites the tip of her thumb.

“Do you want to smoke when we get back home?”

Lisa had rolled some joints just before the trip, stashing them away in a ziplock bag and underneath her socks in her suitcase. They didn’t really smoke a lot, not unless they were bored or just wanted to take the edge off. 

Jennie thinks about the hammock in the back and the sound of the sea at night and she finds herself nodding quietly.

* * *

They grab a thick wool blanket from the inside and Lisa grabs two beers from the fridge, the ziplock bag between her teeth as she walks outside and follows Jennie. 

It’s chilly outside, but the older girl is already starting a fire, poking at the wood that begins to crackle underneath the heat and watching as the smoke begins to hollow out when the fire gets going. 

Lisa climbs inside the hammock first and then Jennie follows, tugging the blanket over both of them as Lisa fumbles to open the bag and pull out her lighter. Her hands shake, they always do, when she has to hold still as she lights the joint. She smokes a little bit of the excess paper off first and then passes it to Jennie, turning her head in the opposite direction as she blows it out.

Jennie takes a slow drag, her lips circling around the joint before she pulls away and blows smoke out in front of her. They settle in quietly, passing it back and forth between each other and Jennie laughing at Lisa as she unsuccessfully tries to blow rings. 

“I love this place,” Jennie breathes out loud. 

She’s staring up at the sky, her hand dangling over the side as she taps some of the ash off. 

“Me too,” Lisa murmurs. 

The hammock sways slightly with the breeze and Lisa closes her eyes for a second, feeling the air on her skin and listening to the insects chirp somewhere tucked between the blades of grass. 

When she opens her eyes again, Jennie passes her the joint and lifts her hands up, like she wants to examine her fingers. 

They’re long and knobby, smooth to the touch and gentle. Lisa takes another drag from the joint and holds it in her chest a little longer this time. Her limbs feel heavy already but it doesn’t stop her from reaching a hand out to hold Jennie’s hand in the air.

“You sleep longer, here.”

Jennie hums in agreement and twists slightly so her shoulder is pressed against Lisa’s front. Every part of their bodies are touching and the heat from Jennie’s skin and the happy fog that Lisa feels from a good smoke, makes her grin. 

Back in the city, Jennie always has trouble falling asleep. Mostly due to studying or her anxiety. Even after she’s done everything that she can do in a day, there’s always that small voice inside of her head telling her that it’s not enough. So she’ll wake up at odd hours and start an assignment that isn’t due for another few days. 

She’ll pop open a book and make herself comfortable in the living room or she’ll step out on the balcony and just sit outside for hours watching the city. 

It scared Lisa at first. It scared her because she didn’t know if it was Jennie’s way of asking her for help, of silently begging her to make it stop. But it wasn’t. That’s the thing about Jennie, she didn’t like to stop. 

“I can hear myself think, just myself.” She murmurs. “Not anything else.”

She takes another drag of the joint and passes it back. Her fingers feel tingly but it’s a nice feeling, one that she’s come to associate with only good things. 

“I feel the same way too.”

It _is_ nice here. Out in the open, secluded away from everyone else and with so many different sounds. It’s different back home, hectic but startling different. 

Lisa imagines what it would be like to live out here. To not have any neighbors and just exist. Maybe pop into town every now and then or hang out by the beach and take photos all day. 

It’s easy to live here, to live away from everybody. 

That’s probably why it would never work out for them. In the city, they have a home. It may be cramped, and the water pressure is shit, but it’s theirs. The first place that they bought together. 

The one where they invite their friends over for dinner. Where they can watch movies in the living room and pick through stacks of dvd titles from Lisa’s collection. It’s close to the subway and their favorite deli is only a block away with soft jazz music and fountain soda that Jennie says she hates but always seems to buy. 

They’ve been living in the city for so long that it feels inexplicable to not be there anymore. In every sense of the word, they’re tied to that place. 

Jennie takes another pull of the joint, passing it to Lisa as she blows smoke above them. 

“Maybe when we start a family…” she muses. “Maybe it would be nice to do something like that here.”

Lisa knows that she’s thinking out loud, that the weed usually allows her to be more open with her thoughts than she typically is. Jennie’s always wanted a family and Lisa’s only ever wanted whatever made her happy. But she knows that she wouldn’t like it out here for so long, that Jennie feels as strong of a connection to the shitty MTA system and the Shake Shack burgers as much as she does. 

“Maybe,” she whispers back. 

The hammock continues to sway from side to side and Lisa eventually puts the joint out, sticking it back in the ziplock bag and stuffing it between them. 

Jennie looks at her, really looks at her, and Lisa almost thinks that she can see the stars reflected in her eyes.

Her fingers trace the slope of her nose down to the top of her lip. It makes her smile and she kisses the pad of her index finger, all of her thoughts swimming around _Jennie, Jennie, Jennie._

“I love you.”

“How much do you love me?” Jennie whispers.

 _More than myself_ , Lisa thinks.

_More than anyone I’ve ever had the chance to love. More than weed. More than it should be humanly possible to love another person._

Instead, Lisa sighs and slips her hands underneath her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her back and every notch of her spine against her fingers. 

“More than I know what to do with it.”

Jennie stares at her for a long time, her eyes blinking slowly until she cups her hand around the back of her neck to pull her down for a kiss. 

They make out for awhile. Trading soft kisses and giggling between each other when Jennie’s elbow stabs her a little too hard or Lisa pinched the skin at her waist a little too much. 

They kiss until their mouths feel numb and the smoke has cleared from their head. The fires gone out and the only thing Lisa can hear are the waves just a little bit farther down from where they’re at. 

Jennie kisses the edge of her mouth, sighing softly, and tangled their hands together.

* * *

It rains the following day and no one is happier about that than Jennie. It makes Lisa antsy, to sit inside the cabin and not have anything to do, so her leg shakes more than usual and she talks even more than normal, lounging on the bed next to Jennie as she reads. 

When Jennie comes to a stop, dog-earring the top of the page in her book, she sets it down on the floor and rolls over on Lisa’s front. 

“Are you okay?”

She knows that the younger girl is, but she likes to hear her say it out loud-to be reassured that she really is fine. 

“I’m okay,” she sighs and then runs her hand up her side, dragging the T-shirt upwards until she realizes all she feels is bare skin. 

“You’re not wearing anything underneath?”

Jennie smiles, leaning up on her elbows to kiss Lisa on her brow and then on the tip of her nose. 

“I haven’t since we got here,” she chuckles.

They have sex; of course they have sex. With the rain pelting the window and the wind whistling outside, Lisa presses Jennie into the mattress, kicking the sheets away from them as they mouth at each other’s skin and press fresh indents into flesh. 

Jennie scratches up her back, has never been shy about leaving marks and then asks if they can do it again and again and again. 

It feels different out in the cabin. On their tiny little mattress at home, they have to be creative with their positions because their desk is pushed next to them. 

Here, however, Lisa can stretch out and move as much as she wants. She can drag Jennie to wherever spot is comfortable and lift her leg up to rest it against her shoulder. 

When they take a break to eat some food, Jennie is curled underneath her arm, rubbing her eyes and yawning into her fist. 

“Let’s take a nap,” Lisa suggests. 

The rain hasn’t let up yet and Lisa can smell it from the inside. The smell of earth as it’s wet and the coffee that still sits in her stomach and warms her tongue. 

They sleep for about just as long, the sheets sticking to their skin and pillows knocked over in favor of the mattress. 

When Lisa wakes up, it’s to the feeling of Jennie mouthing at her shoulder, just a soft press of her lips, but enough to make her turn over and find her mouth with her own. 

She loses track of how many times they make love. In between her legs feels sore but it’s a nice ache, one that she also associates with good things. 

Jennie pants beside her, her hair sticking to her forehead and her eyes unfocused when Lisa kisses her brow. She makes a small noise in the back of her throat and laughs when Lisa tugs on her earlobe with her teeth.

“Shower?”

Jennie rubs her eyes, thumbing away some of the crust at the edge and sighs. 

“I don’t think I can move,” she chuckles. 

So they wait a little longer, nearly an hour in bed. Lisa touches her everywhere she can and Jennie lets her, humming in approval or kissing her back when she makes her way up again. 

Eventually, Lisa pulls them out of bed and gets the shower running. For a long time they stand underneath the spray, holding the other close and kissing each other with soft presses. 

It’s a comfort thing and Lisa holds Jennie as tight as she can, swaying them underneath the water until it becomes too cold and it starts to feel uncomfortable. 

After they dry off, Lisa changes the sheets and Jennie makes them dinner, just a simple pot of rice and chicken from the freezer that they wanted to finish before they left. 

They watch another movie, two actually, and then Jennie climbs back into the bed, naked still, and Lisa follows after. 

“Finger me, please,” Jennie whispers in her ear. 

And Lisa does. 

She would do anything for her and Jennie knows that. As she leans over, propped up on one arm and staring down at her girlfriend underneath her, she watches her slowly fall apart. 

The way her eyes get that heavy look before she bites her lip. How her lips tremble when she’s close and the way her legs shake as she tries to close them, but Lisa pulls them back open. 

Her fingers grab her wrist, not pulling away but keeping them there. And Lisa follows the motions, kissing into her mouth and licking behind her teeth as she curls her fingers and presses _just_ right in that spot that makes Jennie whine. 

They can’t seem to get enough of each other and Lisa knows that it has nothing to do with the cabin. 

That it’s just a natural thing between them— has always been this invisible pull that’s ebbed and flowed with the way their bodies have grown and how comfortable they’ve become with each other over the years. 

When Jennie’s in her lap, her teeth sinking into her skin, not enough to draw blood, but enough to make her shake, Lisa feels it then. 

That inexplicable need to be close as possible, to be with Jennie as much as physically possible. 

Her hands slide up her back, her fingers squeezing the nape of her neck and Jennie licks into her mouth. It’s mind numbingly arousing and sets something off inside of Lisa as she tugs her closer by her hips.

Hours later, when the rain finally dies down and water droplets slide down the window, Lisa will wake up again. She’ll see Jennie facing the window, laying on her front with the sheet barely covering the dip of her lower back. 

Lisa will trace her fingers across her skin, moving forward to kiss the dimples on her back, all the way up to the back of her ear. 

She’s reading a book. Lisa can see her finger as it glides along the page and she pecks the top of her shoulder. 

“I love you,” Jennie whispers quietly. 

Lisa drags her lips along her shoulder blade, her skin buzzing with warmth as she smiles. 

“How much do you love me?”

Jennie marks a page in her book, dog-earring it as she shuts it close and places it back on the floor. 

“More than this book, apparently.”

* * *

Jennie wakes up before Lisa, sunlight dripping through the ceiling as she pushes the sheet away. She takes a quick shower and then makes a small breakfast, eating on the floor as she watches Lisa sleep. 

She puts the leftovers in the oven and then goes up to the study, taking out a pen and writing a small note to Lisa on it. 

When she comes back down, she sticks it on the coffee maker, the first thing that Lisa will go to when she wakes up. Then, she packs a small bag; just a water bottle, some snacks, a notebook and the novel that she was trying to read yesterday.

_Went out for a walk in the woods. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I just need to clear my head a little bit. Maybe write a little bit or read. I made you breakfast, it’s in the oven. You should take pictures today, it’s really beautiful outside. I love you._

Jennie doesn’t stray too far from the footpath. She simply goes in the opposite direction of the sea, following a trail that leads uphill where the air is just a little bit cooler and the sun slices through the top of the trees, warming every area of exposed skin. 

Twigs crunch underneath her sneakers and Jennie walks slower, taking her time so she can see everything. The way water still drips down from the leaves, how the smell of pine envelops her senses and a frog croaks nearby, leaping between the grass somewhere in front of her. 

Jennie walks for awhile, stopping somewhere near a clearing where she can hear the sounds of a little stream. There’s a flat area of grass and a small embankment with shells, rocks, and tiny plants trying to sprout from the ground.

Jennie shrugs her backpack off and takes a seat in the grass, unzipping it so she can take a drink of water and write a little bit. Underneath the cover of the trees and outside by herself, Jennie finds it easy to slip back into something natural for her. 

The chirp of crickets and the shadows that the birds make over her as they glide through the air, helps her write in a way that she hasn’t done before. It makes it easier to write about nature and the smell of the trees. It makes it easier to describe what the air feels like in her lungs and the way the grass feels between her fingers as she walks through it. 

There are some things that she can’t make connections to out here, like she can in the city. Maybe that’s why she tries to jot it all down. She needs to be able to properly explain what it is that she’s feeling, so when she looks back over it she can remember it as vividly as possible. 

So she writes and she writes and she writes until her hand cramps. She thumbs through the pages and tries to piece together every thought from the next and then the one before it. 

She digs in her backpack again and pulls out some of her colorful pens, filling in areas and marking others that are more important than the rest. 

When it feels like she’s written just about everything that she can think of, she eats her sandwich and then pulls open her book to finish reading it.

It’s sundown when Jennie ventures back to the cabin. Lisa is gone but she’s left a note too, one in messy handwriting that looks like she was rushing, but that’s just the way she writes.

_If I’m not back before you, I ordered take-out. It’s in the fridge. Heat some up if you want to. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Love you._

Jennie waits for Lisa, though; she doesn’t like eating without the other girl by her side. She makes a pot of tea to kill the time and warms the food up, just as she hears the key turning in the lock.

Lisa has a small bag in her hand, one that she sets on the counter as she follows the smell of food into the kitchen. Jennie tossed the take out boxes out and handed her a plate just as she leans down to kiss the top of her head. 

“Where’d you go?”

“Back into town. Do you wanna see some of the pictures?”

They migrate to the bed, sitting beside each other and slurping noodles from their chopsticks as Lisa fumbles with her camera. 

She shows her pictures of the dock, an elderly couple sitting on a bench, kids running down the street, and some more of the sky.

“I want to edit these into black and white scans. Do you think that would look okay?”

“Yeah,” Jennie nods and pushes a piece against Lisa’s lips. She chews and swallows it, grinning to herself before she sets her camera back down.

“What about you?”

“Just sat in the forest and read. Some real Henry David Thoreau shit.”

Lisa snorted and rubbed the skin of her knee with her fingers. She ate some more and then offered her egg roll to Jennie, she always loved them more than her anyway. 

“It felt good to go out alone,” she hummed, her eyes watching Jennie’s face. 

Jennie knew what she meant and she had to agree. As great as it felt to be around her, they were their own people first and foremost. Even after spending years molding themselves to fit each other and smoothing out the areas that weren’t okay and adapting, they were still somebody separate from each other. 

It felt nice for Jennie to just sit in complete silence and read. It felt nice to hear herself think and not have to think of anything to say. It felt nice not to have to force herself to say something. 

She could just simply be there and that was okay because it was just her. 

“It always feels good when I don’t have to deal with you, dummy,” Jennie teased. 

Lisa frowned at her and Jennie laughed, cradling her face between her hands and trying to kiss her, but the younger girl curled her lips back. 

“Fuck you,” she grumbled. 

“I was waiting for you to fuck me since you came back,” Jennie smiled.

Lisa’s ears turned red and she spluttered, her chopsticks clattering loudly against the plate as Jennie laughed again. 

When they finished eating, Jennie did the dishes and then took her hair tie out, shaking out her hair and kicking her jeans off as Lisa watched her. When she pulled her T-shirt over her head, she pushed her clothes against the wall and crawled into the bed, patting the space beside her. 

Sometimes it’s not even about sex and as she slides under the sheet, pulling the blanket over her head, she can tell this is one of those days. 

Jennie pushes her face onto her pillow, smiling when Lisa tugs her close and tucks some of her hair behind her ear. She rubs the helix piercing on her ear and then shifts forward to kiss her eyes as Jennie closes them. 

“Tell me about your day,” Lisa whispers. 

“I already told you,” Jennie chuckles and it shouldn’t make her heart ache, but it does when the older girl grabs her hand and places it on her hip. 

Lisa doesn’t know how to tell her that she just wants to hear Jennie talk. She doesn’t know how to explain to Jennie that listening to her makes Lisa feel calm, that it eases something inside of her when she listens to her voice. 

Even if she doesn’t outright say that though, Jennie only runs her hand up her side and seems to understand what Lisa means. 

“Okay,” she murmurs and pulls Lisa close to whisper her day in her ear.

* * *

The next day, sometime late in the afternoon, Jennie rubs her eyes and hears the sound of a camera shutter. 

She looks over her shoulder to see Lisa standing over her on the bed, the camera pointed directly at her. 

The younger girl smiles, pulling her Canon away from her face to whisper, “good morning.”

It’s not something new— Lisa taking pictures of her, but it does make her neck burn nonetheless to think that Lisa still wants to capture her like this: just waking up and with traces of sleep in her eyes. 

She lets Lisa move her into different positions, the camera going off after each one and she pushes the camera away at one point, pulling her closer so she can kiss Lisa on the mouth. 

When Lisa pulls the sheet away, Jennie draws her legs close and the other girl will run her thumb across the skin inside of her leg, seeing the marks from last night and where she bit her too hard. 

She’ll take more photos, enough that Jennie will eventually become shy, and reach out to wrap the blanket around herself.

Later, after Lisa brings her a cup of coffee and slides into bed beside her, she’ll kiss the top of her shoulder and rub the skin of her ring finger. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Jennie swallows, staring at the way Lisa looks at her. At the way she feels her touch her and the smile that spreads across her face when she notices that Jennie is staring back. 

“I’m not,” she shakes her head. 

Lisa will nod and push her hair over her shoulder, tracing the moles on her shoulder and drawing imaginary lines between them. 

“You _are_ ,” she whispers. 

When Jennie pulls back, Lisa runs her thumbs over her brow, pushing her hair away so she can see her face more clearly. 

“I could look at you all day and never get tired of doing it. How are you so damn gorgeous?”

Jennie tries to look away from her but Lisa takes her face between her hands and squeezes her cheeks together, laughing when Jennie snorts and pushes her away. 

“No, but seriously,” Lisa chuckles, “How did I get so damn lucky?”

Jennie wants to remind her that she was the one that pinned after Lisa. That she was the one that accidentally spilt her drink all over Lisa in the student dining hall and had to apologize profusely to. 

Jennie got lucky. She was lucky enough to not have scared Lisa away with her inability to be good at conversation. She was lucky enough that Lisa still wanted to hang out with her after Jennie blew her off multiple times because she didn’t know what to say. 

She’s lucky that even at nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, and twenty-four, that Lisa is still giving her a chance, is still patient with her, and still tells her things that she’s been saying since they’ve got together. She’s so fucking lucky to have Lisa and she wants to tell her that, she wants to tell Lisa that Jennie’s the one who should be happy, who should still be in disbelief that Lisa still wants her. But when she opens her mouth, Lisa pulls her close and kisses her forehead, her lips pressing a promise into her skin as if she had been keeping it to herself this entire time. 

“The most beautiful girl that I’ve ever seen,” and when she kisses her again, Jennie feels like she could listen to her say that all day.

* * *

Eventually, they venture down to the beach just as the sky starts to darken and the clouds drift away.

The sand is cool underneath their feet and Jennie wiggles her toes, drawing close to the shoreline as Lisa sets their shoes by the grass. 

She wades into the water first, her sweats rolled up to her calves so the water only reaches her ankles. Jennie follows, holding up the bottom of her dress with one hand as she walks over and grabs Lisa’s arm. 

In the dark, the water looks completely black, lapping against the rocks and pushing them backwards slightly as Lisa puts a hand on the small of her back. 

She leans down to kiss her and Jennie smiles, her lips following after her and tugging her closer by the back of her neck. 

Birds swoop low overhead and they can hear frogs croaking in the distance as the water splashes against them. Lisa rubs her hands down the skin of her arms and pulls her close enough so she can hug her. 

“Sing me a song,” she murmurs into her hair.

“Not here,” Jennie laughs. 

Lisa’s fingers poke the skin of her ribs and dig into her sides, hard enough for her to shriek and pull away, twisting around in her arms to get away from her. 

That’s how they end up chasing each other down the shoreline, Jennie eventually letting her dress go to wade through the water ahead of her. 

Lisa’s long legs make it easier for her to catch up to Jennie, so it isn’t long before she’s grabbing her girlfriend around her waist and swinging her up in a small circle. 

Their laughter carries across the shore and it echoes out in the wind as Lisa sets her back down and kisses her neck. Their clothes are partially wet and Lisa shivers slightly, her teeth chattering when Jennie takes her hand and pulls her towards the sand.

They peel their clothes off when they make it back inside, taking a long, hot shower and then Jennie makes a pot of lemon tea, adding a lot of honey for Lisa. 

They sit on the couch, wrapped around each other under a thick blanket and with Criminal Minds playing on the TV. Lisa takes a small sip from her mug and hums when Jennie kisses her ear. 

She feels warm and safe here, not just in the cabin, but pressed up against Lisa like this. She threads their fingers together and presses it against her hip. 

Eventually, Lisa falls asleep first, her head slouching forward and her breath fanning the side of Jennie’s face as she drifts off. 

The older girl settles in on top of her, turning the volume down on the TV and watches the sky outside until she can hardly keep herself up.

* * *

It’s Valentine's Day, their last morning here, and Jennie doesn’t want to leave their tiny cabin. She stays in bed the entire morning, watching Lisa cook and then alternate between feeding her and feeding herself. 

They go through a whole pot of coffee and then Jennie grabs a different book out of her bag, one that she reads aloud to Lisa as she rests her head against her shoulder.

They share a box of chocolates between them, Lisa picking out the ones with caramel in the middle and giving them to her girlfriend. 

The sky is cloudy, so there’s hardly any sunlight, which makes them sleepy. They drift in and out at odd times; Lisa waking up to Jennie sprawled across her chest, and Jennie waking up to Lisa halfway off the bed. 

They cook a late lunch and Jennie finishes quickly, taking their dishes to the sink and pulling her girlfriend back to their bed.

“You’re insatiable out here,” Lisa laughs and Jennie wants to make a snarky comeback, but she’s too busy tugging her shirt off to argue that. 

For awhile, all they do is sit on the bed facing each other and holding the other as the sunlight drips through the blinds. Lisa rubs her hand down her chest, cupping her breast and leaning forward to kiss her. 

Jennie sighs into her mouth and feels her toes curl as her lips travel around her face. Lisa kisses her cheek, her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then laughs when Jennie brings their mouths together again. 

“I love your thighs,” Lisa says, touching her skin and squeezing the flesh. 

“What else do you love about me?”

She bites the side of Lisa’s neck and shivers when Lisa drags her fingernails down the back of her arms.

“Love your eyes.”

Lisa pulls back to cradle her face and she stares at her, leaning forward to kiss her eyelids and it makes Jennie smile. 

“Love your lips,” her fingers press against the skin of her lip and Jennie opens her mouth, sucking on two of her fingers as Lisa closes her eyes, as if she can’t bear to stare at her. 

When Jennie pulls back, Lisa kisses her hard and sighs into her mouth happily. 

“Love the way you make me feel.”

Jennie hugs her to her chest. Her chin digging into Lisa’s shoulder as she feels her heart expand into her chest and makes it difficult for her to breathe. 

“I want to be with you forever.” 

For some reason, Jennie feels her eyes water and she sits back, trying to wipe her eyes but Lisa kisses her cheek instead, pressing their forehead together. 

“I want to be with you forever too.”

She leans back, twisting around to dig through her suitcase on the floor and Jennie stares at her back, puzzled until she turns around. 

There’s a small navy blue box in her hand and Jennie covers her face, choking out a sob as Lisa laughs and tries to softly tug her hands away so she can see her. 

“Look at me.”

“No,” Jennie whimpers pitifully, shaking her head. 

Her face is wet and she sniffles, only to pull away when Lisa begs her again and wipes her nose with the sheet. It’s disgusting but it’s something that only Lisa would do and it makes her smile tearfully. 

Lisa turns the box in her hand, not yet opening it, but simply tapping her fingers against the material. When Jennie wipes at her cheek, Lisa leans forward and kisses her eyelids. 

“If you want us to be together forever, then will you marry me?”

She pops open the box with her thumb, setting it on the sheet in between the both of them. It’s beautiful. A gold band with a yellow diamond in the center and a set of smaller crystal diamonds lining the band. 

Jennie takes a deep breath and holds out her hand, her fingers are shaking and Lisa smiles, her eyes wet too as she takes the ring out. When she tries to slide the ring on her finger, her hand is shaking so much that Lisa can’t put it on properly. 

After the fourth try, Jennie snorts and presses a kiss to her nose and helps her so it slides onto her ring finger. 

Both of their hands shake and Jennie smiles, pressing the heel of her hands against her eyes and sighing out loud. Lisa doesn’t let her hide, doesn’t ever let herself _not_ be seen. 

Lisa tugs her hands away and rubs her fingers, picking her hand up to press a kiss to each of her knuckles. 

Jennie smooths her hair back and lays a hand against Lisa’s neck, feeling the warmth of her skin and the pulse underneath her flesh. 

“We really doing this, Lisa?”

The younger girl laughs, her eyes crinkling prettily as she grabs her hand and kisses her palm. 

“You wanna do this with me?” 

It’s a silly question to ask. They’ve been together for six years, have weathered those formidable first months of the honeymoon phase and the hard work of talking to each other and acting like adults the rest of the time. Lisa has helped her through anxiety attacks, has stayed up late with her listening to her talk about nonsensical things and explain game theory to her even if she doesn’t know shit about it. 

They still fight; God, they still fight all the time. Sometimes about stupid shit, sometimes about really serious issues, and other times about whose turn it is to cook dinner. But Jennie wouldn’t want to get into a shouting match with anyone else. She wouldn’t want to have her bedroom door slammed in her face by another girl. She can’t imagine crawling out of bed at 2 a.m. for anyone else but Lisa, to wake her up and drag her back to their bedroom. 

She wants everything. She wants the good times; she wants the way Lisa laughs, the way she acts shocked whenever Jennie surprises her with a new Final Fantasy game even though she had sent hints about it all week. Jennie wants everything with her because it’s not physically possible to do this with someone else. 

She _refuses_ to do this with anyone else. 

“I don’t wanna do this with anyone that _isn’t you_ ,” Jennie grins.


End file.
